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Band 4.5

"Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think it is a waste of money. Give your opinion."

#people #money #species #waste
Paucity
Add an article
The paucity
A paucity
show examples
 of people
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that more investment should be made
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 safeguarding
imperil
Replace the word
imperilled
show examples
species
.
Conversely
, others think it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 of
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
.Throughout
this
 essay, I will explore both the sides of discourse,
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
 to spend or not
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 extinct
species
.
Firstly
, I will discuss why we should do it, and
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 I will talk through why we shouldn't expend on
this
. As all of us know, we are a part of an ecosystem and to maintain the balance we need to preserve the
food
 chain. As animals and plants are dependent on each other for their survival,
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
show examples
 of an
endanger
Change the form of the verb
endangered
show examples
species
 will create
imbalance
Add an article
an imbalance
show examples
 on the planet. Because of the pollution that we
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 are creating, many
species
 are harmed
due to
 that. In
turn
Add a comma
,turn
show examples
 it will
also
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 our lives.
For example
, American Bison are diminishing, humans who relied on them for
food
 and fur trading will be impacted greatly and we have to find other sources. There is a Domino effect, as one goes it affects the other and eventually the other will
also
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 to
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
extinction.
For Example
, Polar bears rely on seals for
food
, and seals are dependent on plankton,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 eats ice algae,
due to
 climate change ice melts and the algae
population
 drops
thats
Correct your spelling
that
that's
affects
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
 seals and
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
decreases
polar
Correct article usage
the polar
show examples
 bear
population
 .
On the other hand
,
due to
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
 in
population
 and growing demands, we need resources that
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 huge investment. There is an
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 cost of meeting demands or
to save
Change the verb form
saving
show examples
 an
endanger
Change the form of the verb
endangered
show examples
species
.
Also
, if we start using renewable energy and other sources to protect the environment we can save these
species
 and it won't be much costly but we have to bit compromise on our
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
For example
, Overfishing occurs when people take too much
food
 from oceans, so by reducing that,
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
fish
Correct article usage
the fish
show examples
population
 and
also
 prevents disruption in
food
Add an article
the food
a food
show examples
 web.If we ban
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of plastics,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
also
 don't demand investment,we can reduce
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 climate change, like in India.
As a result
, many
species
 can revive their lives. Though we are facing many
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 of
population
 and growing needs, it is necessary to prevent and protect the extinct
speices
Correct your spelling
species
 as it is a significant part of our planet. We need to allocate funds to save them and
also
 opt for organic and simple
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 without harming
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will help us in both spending less and saving the
species
.
Submitted by unnatigaglani93 on

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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