IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.

the maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.
#maps #show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site
The maps depict both Norbiton industrial city and the future layout of the site. Now, the city contains a
river
 which
cross
Change the verb form
crosses
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 the farmland
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north side.
Moreover
, there is a long
road
 with
a
Remove the article
apply
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one square and a small
road
 to the est. There are 8 factories all around the
road
 but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be replaced by housing areas in the future.
Furthermore
, the town
boundry
Correct your spelling
boundary
 is going to be in the same place as it is in Norbiton. In the
future
Add a comma
,future
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 there will be two individual squares.
At
Change preposition
In
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 the first round
about
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apply
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we will see the medical
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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 the right side and several shops
in
Change preposition
on
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 the left. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the industrial city will be turned out to be
residentioal
Correct your spelling
residential
 all the factories will be gone.
In addition
, there will be one playground in the northeast below the
river
 and a school
at the end
 of the
road
 .
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there is going to be a canal in order to get access to the other side of the
river
 and wave
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new housing.
Although
, because of the housing
expantion
Correct your spelling
expansion
 the farmland will be much smaller.
Overall
, there are the same
river
, town area and one main
road
 but it will be completely
reverse
Wrong verb form
reversed
show examples
 because they will after industrial areas to a place to live with a playground,school, medical
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, shops and a canal in the middle of the
river
.
Submitted by javadsaady1992 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words river, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • development
  • infrastructure
  • manufacturing
  • facilities
  • transition
  • planning
  • commercial
  • residential
  • renovation
  • urban planning
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • local economy
  • rejuvenation
  • construction
  • modernization
  • accessibility
  • demolition
  • gentrification
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