some children spend hours every day on their smartphone. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphone #case #development

In nowadays

life

most

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apply

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children

are spending a lot of time on their mobile

phone

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phones

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each day.

This

has several detrimental effects on them.

Although

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apply

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it has

a positive parts

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a positive part

positive parts

show examples

, I think it should be regarded as a negative development. At

first,

the

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apply

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technology

grow

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grows

show examples

and all

the

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apply

show examples

gadgets like smartphones are available in every

countries

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country

show examples

also

in everybody's hand. It become a crucial part of each individual's

life

to have

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apply

show examples

and use it but people don’t have

a information

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information

a piece of information

show examples

children

are wasting their time by using mobile in order to play games or watch videos. Not only

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does it

show examples

distract them and glue them to the phone, but

also

they forget to do their tasks and homework .

Moreover

, the screen lights can damage their quality of sleep.

While

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apply

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they

stuck

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are stuck

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at home and do not go out and socialize with other

children

. That will cause health

problem

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problems

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like obesity and mental issue like

deppretion

Correct your spelling

depression

On the other hand

this

development

cause

Wrong verb form

caused

show examples

a huge revolution in different aspects of our

life

. Most

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apply

show examples

the

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apply

show examples

people are now using Google meets to connect to their coworker and their boss so that they can work at home and take care of their

children

Furthermore

the

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apply

show examples

communication is now available in every

cities

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city

show examples

. So,

the

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they

show examples

can call, text or video call with their friend because

the

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apply

show examples

mobile phones are not only portable but

also

it doesn’t cost a fortune. In conclusion,

children

are addicted to their smartphones which can cause lots of health and mental problem. It should

be mention

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be mentioned

show examples

that

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apply

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this

gadget

make

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makes

show examples

our

life

much better if we use it

aproppriatly

Correct your spelling

appropriately

That is

why

this

claim is the case.

Submitted by javadsaady1992 on Sat Aug 19 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Engrossed
Distracted
Addictive
Digital natives
Virtual reality
Interactive
Online gaming
Social media platforms
Connectivity
Social engagement
Information access
Learning tools
Peer influence
Societal pressure
Alternative activities
Recreational facilities

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some children spend hours every day on their smartphone. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sport clubs,believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work.Other employees see no benifit in doing so.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Computer games are very popular in all age groups and nationalities. Parents think it has little educational value and harmful effects. What is your opinion about this? Give examples based on your own experience.

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?