IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that advertising encourage us to buy things that really do not need. Others say that advertisement tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which view points do you agree with?

#people #advertisement #products #lives #points
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Purchasing new products that are not necessarily impact the keenness of some
people
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 in its advertisement they say , but other
people
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 believe one of the factors for the improvement of their life is the
advertisements
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 for new goods that can choose it. I think both of the two views might be corrected that depend on their situation. Actually, advertising serves to raise awareness among
people
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, so using it certainly, depends on their attitude that purchasing it will be necessary or not. On the one hand, some
people
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 used to buy something that maybe is not their requirement, but they watch its advertisement on TV or billboard or hear about it from other
people
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 that tend to provide it very soon
furthermore
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 it is not their priority. In my mind, perhaps their belief is these
things
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 will be needed at another time, so keeping them will not have any problem for them, of course, it may be more helpful. So I accept
this
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 video if they do not have financial problems.
On the other hand
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, despite a variety of goods
advertisements
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 on different devices, other
people
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 prefer to provide
things
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, that these kinds of
things
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 can be helped them to improve their lives without any restrictions when they need them.
Hence
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, they attention to all
advertisements
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 about new products to illustrate their attitude from its applicable in their lives. So if it can help them to achieve progress in the specific situation, it undoubtedly will be the first choice, regardless of its costs. They confidently, tell about helpful of it in their life. In the point of my view,
nevertheless
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 of its costs to provide
things
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 in our lives, having truth to components honest of advertising must be more emphasize, because of its assessment.
Finally
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, I think, always the
advertisements
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 have the main role in
people
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's choices for purchasing goods, even though, they do not need them nearly, but other
people
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 provide their new products for having a better life
according to
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 their wants, so I agree with both the two views.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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