It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

#change #people

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Nowadays some people are trying to change several aspects of their life,

while

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many others prefer avoiding it.

According to

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this

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topic exit advantages and disadvantages about it.

This

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essay will discuss the gains and the drawbacks that are involved in

this

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topic.

Firstly

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, the individuals that adopt the way of the changes, could find new skills to tackle different issues. The problems are normal events that are continuously presented throughout the period of life and the skills that we can develop to face them are important for keeping a correct mental health.

Additionally

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, living new experiences allows us to know which is the best decision in many situations.

For instance

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, when a person makes a mistake in that moment they can answer the question: How can I do

this

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in the best way? or What should I do to do my best effort?

Whereas

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, facing an issue could be difficult for individuals and it could cause different mental diseases. One of the major causes of anxiety is the change of experiences that some individuals are living in these modern days.

For example

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, a human who is living in a new country could have frames of anxiety

due to

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all the changes that they have to experience.

According to

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what was mentioned above, many prefer keeping in a comfort zone.

To sum up

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, many choose the challenge of living new experiences,

while

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others choose the possibility of living without changes. The tools developed in a new way are a benefit,

while

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a mental disease is a con of the advances. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, because is crucial adopt to all the journals that life allows us to take.

Submitted by mariajoser3 on Wed Nov 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to refine some of the sentences for better clarity and understanding. For example, "According to this topic exit advantages and disadvantages about it." could be structured more clearly as "Regarding this topic, there are both advantages and disadvantages."

task achievement

While you have included examples, they could be more specific or expanded to fully illustrate your points. Instead of general statements like "a human who is living in a new country could have frames of anxiety," delve into details about why these changes lead to anxiety, perhaps with statistics or studies.

coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from more precise language to enhance clarity. For instance, the phrase "all the journals that life allows us to take" could be more meaningfully expressed with "opportunities and challenges life presents us."

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your thesis and conclusion reflect each other closely, reiterating the main points discussed in the essay. This helps to round off the essay more effectively.

task achievement

Your essay successfully touches on both advantages and disadvantages of change, providing a balanced perspective on this topic.

coherence cohesion

You've maintained a logical introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.

coherence cohesion

The overall structure and organization of your paragraphs indicate a clear understanding of essay format.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

adaptability
resilience
stagnation
opportunities
personal growth
development
instability
stress
comfort zone
predictability
innovation
technology
quality of life
flexibility
embrace
transformative

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It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Some people claim that genetically modified (GM) food can be dangerous while others feel that it may bring enormous benefits to the world. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write about the following topic Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? Give reasons for your answer

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

many countries spend too much money on training of a few individuals for international sports competition. Some people believe that government should spend more in ordinary people instead. Do you agree r disagree? give your opinion and example