People of older and younger generations work in the same work place. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The
job
fields in various companies are filled by a combination of both young and old workers. There are some concerns that
this
might have harmful effects on the development of the workplace.
However
, I believe that the potential resolutions are greater than it demerits. There are several reasons that some argue the outcome of these types of companies will not be productive.
Firstly
, they claim that the behaviour and manner of variant generations are not similar.
While
younger individuals want a friendly environment and flexibility in their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, older ones are more strict.
Therefore
, they cannot understand and reach an agreement with each other to co-operate, which would result in conflicts in
decision makings
Correct your spelling
decision-making
show examples
, unsatisfaction working hours, and leading them to abandon their
job
position.
Additionally
, these advocators believe when these two generations are working together, they might not respect one another's viewpoints. So, again
this
will have detrimental impacts on workers and the company. From
this
evidence, it is clear to me that in some situations,
this
might be problematic;
however
, these kinds of crises are solvable by measuring and approaching directly the root of the problem.
Moreover
, I believe when older employees are working with younger ones, they could kindly transfer their long-life
job
experience to them.
This
sharing of wisdom and insights with younger employees will not only foster better young talented workers but
also
a sense of accomplishment and fulfilment will be noticeable in the attitude of both generations; in the meanwhile, greater outcomes will be provided
as a result
of the company in term of development in a variety of areas.
To conclude
, despite the fact that there are some adverse consequences on the company's environment and development, I believe that by demonstrating the possible solutions to tackle these ordinary problems, the benefits
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be enough to outweigh the drawbacks. It is my hope that old and young employees will become friends in
this
kind of ambience.
Submitted by m.defaee1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and cohesion
The introduction could be strengthened by providing a more clear thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt. Additionally, the conclusion could be improved by summarizing the main points and restating the thesis.
Coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly connect each paragraph to the main topic and provide smooth transitions between ideas to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: