IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

People often do not interact with their neighbours and this is harming community building. What are the possible causes and solutions? ‌

#people #neighbours #community
It is irrefutable that neighbourhood building is being damaged as individuals are not interconnecting with the next doors for most of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
. In my opinion, there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of reasons for
this
 disturbing tendency but
Correct article usage
a handul
show examples
handul
Correct your spelling
handful
 of possible measures will mitigate
this
 problem.
To begin
 with, the first and foremost reason for
this
 case is the advancement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology that provides
manu
Correct your spelling
many
 facilities to the masses for spending their time at home. To explain, people
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 games
as well as
 do chatting and
texting
Replace the word
text
show examples
 with their friends to utilize their leisure period.
In addition
 to
this
, watching television is
also
 one of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 scenario.
For example
, a survey was conducted at Punjabi University in India, in which 70 per cent of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 stay at home for viewing television
instead
 of interacting with their
nearones
Correct your spelling
neurones
near ones
.
On the other hand
, there are a huge number of ways to tackle
this
 issue.
Firstly
, people should go out for
walk
Add an article
a walk
show examples
 in their nearby
locality
Replace the word
local
show examples
 park.
This
 will benefit their health
along with
 building their relation with society members.
Secondly
, individuals should participate in any function which is organized by the community people.
As a result
 of
this
, they will spend some quality time with each other and get some
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
 from their busy schedules.
To sum up
,
although
 there are a number of reasons for
this
 tendency, taking some reasoning steps will help to resolve
this
 issue,
thus
 will lead to
logical
Add an article
a logical
the logical
show examples
 conclusion.
Submitted by Yia  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: