Some people think that the money used to preserve historic buildings and artefacts should came from goverment funds, while others believe that private organisations and individuals should pay for this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are different viewpoints regarding where the money for conserving long-standing buildings and
antiques
should come from.
While
some hold the opinion that authority must take care of these payments, the better way is to let private enterprises and individuals
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
finance
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. It is true that state funds are important to preserve all artefacts and historical property. All
antiques
and historical buildings are cultural treasures, and these make the rich heritage of the country. Sustainable money coming from the authority will
help
Verb problem
keep
show examples
all the artefacts intact, plus, people may come and sightsee and create money back for the state.
For example
, the American government spends a large expenditure every year to protect the
antiques
just for their citizen to watch and use them for evidence of their history.
On the other hand
, private organizations and individuals will be better at preserving historical buildings and relics than authorities. The private companies will conserve relics carefully and spend a tremendous of expenditure because they will make a profit from them by selling sightseeing tickets.
Moreover
, the artefacts will have more opportunities to reach visitors and
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
innovate quickly if damaged.
For instance
, historical museums owned by private organizations always
attracted
Wrong verb form
attract
show examples
a lot of tourists because of the diversity and good condition of the
antiques
In conclusion, there are some advantages for the state to pay the preservation fees,
however
, I consider that private companies should finance these payments because they do the conservation better. There is a better way to resolve
this
issue,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should support private organizations,
therefore
helping them do the conserve job better.
Submitted by namkhanh.tran2310 on

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide a balanced discussion of both views.
coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
Diversify your vocabulary and use more advanced vocabulary where appropriate.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to improve the overall clarity of your essay.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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