Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources, to what extent do you agree or disagree.
Driven by industrialization and other human activities, the living space of wild
animals
has decreased to a large degree. As a result
, some people argue that saving their lives can waste resources that are precious to us. From my perspective, I am not in favour of this
opinion, believing that those creatures are deserved
to be well-protected.
People who harbour Wrong verb form
deserve
this
view reckon that the protection of wild animals
is useless and worthless for human beings, thus
it should spend funds and effort on other important issues, such
as medical care, military defence and so on. After all, humans reign supreme on the earth, being able to revolutionize the whole world, and there are a great many problems unaddressed in our society. For example
, at least 0.5 million Americans are homeless, therefore
they are in want of shelter and necessities. If the money and space allocated to animal protection were granted to those in need, it cannot only improve their living standard,
but reduce crimes caused by poverty.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, wildlife protection is by no means wasting time and effort. For one thing, all animals
on the planet are equal, deserving
to live with us. As a member of the global community, it is our responsibility to preserve as much wildlife as we can, thereby maintaining a diversified world by investing in necessary resources. For another, without wild Correct word choice
and deserving
animals
, it will pose a threat to sustaining human life. For instance
, rain forest
, which play a key role in the ecosystem that keeps the earth up and running, will disappear if all wild creatures were eliminated, because Correct your spelling
rainforests
it
largely Correct pronoun usage
they
relies
on animal activities.
In conclusion, protecting wild Correct subject-verb agreement
rely
animals
from distinction contribute
greatly to the survival of humankind, which is not wasteful but beneficial to everyone.Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
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task response
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic, but it lacks depth in exploring different aspects of the argument. Try to provide a more comprehensive response by considering multiple perspectives and their implications.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs needs improvement. Ensure that each paragraph's topic sentence relates clearly to the main argument and that there is a smooth transition between ideas.