IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the process of waste paper recycling.

The chart below shows the process of waste paper recycling.
#process #waste #paper
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The flow chart shows the way in which waste
paper
Use synonyms
 is recycled.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 there are six distinct stages in
this
Linking Words
 process, from the initial collection of waste
paper
Use synonyms
 to the eventual production of usable
paper
Use synonyms
.
At the first stage
Linking Words
 in the
paper
Use synonyms
 recycling process, waste
paper
Use synonyms
 is collected either from
paper
Use synonyms
 banks, where members of the public leave their used
paper
Use synonyms
, or directly from businesses.
This
Linking Words
paper
Use synonyms
 is
then
Linking Words
 sorted by hand and separated
according to
Linking Words
 its grade, with any
paper
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 not suitable for recycling being removed.
Next,
Linking Words
the graded
paper
Use synonyms
 is transported to a
paper
Use synonyms
 mill. Stages four and five of the process both involve cleaning. The
paper
Use synonyms
 is cleaned and pulped, and foreign objects
such
Linking Words
 as staples are taken out.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, all remnants of ink and glue are removed from the
paper
Use synonyms
 at the de-inking stage.
Finally
Linking Words
, the pulp can be processed in a
paper
Use synonyms
-making machine, which makes the end product: usable
paper
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by huangzijun2293 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words paper with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: