Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjets that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #students #subjets #future #careers #subjects #music #sports

What young people should study at school has long been the subject of intense debate and

this

is a question that certainly does not have one correct answer.

While

I agree with the first half of the statement that schools should focus on academic classes, I do not agree with the second half that music and sports are not necessary. I firmly believe that non-academic

subjects

are

also

very important for the holistic development of children. On the one hand, there are many reasons why schools should lay stress on academic classes.

Firstly

, academic

education

is very important and students must be pushed as hard as possible to achieve their best. It is necessary to expose

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students to academic

subjects

so that they can get into university and good jobs later in life.

However

,forcing only academic studies onto them would lead to failure and the student leaving school too early.I feel that a more rounded

education

would produce a better

individúal

Correct your spelling

individual

On the other hand

, there are many advantages of non-academic

subjects

To begin

with, non-academic

subjects

break the monotony of tough academic studies. Participating in

șports

Correct your spelling

sports

keeps children physically fit.We all know that a healthy mind resides in a healthy body.

Subjects

such

as music

also

have proved to be helpful in improving the IQ of children.

Therefore

, the importance of these

subjects

cannot be undermined. I believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a mix of academic and non-academic

subjects

should be there in schools. Young people should be given the best possible chance of doing:well at school. In traditional

curriculum

Add a comma

curriculum,

show examples

there is a wide variety of

subjects

.There are academic and non-academic

subjects

. In

this

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

a young person is formed with a rounded

education

.Non-academic

subjects

include sports, cooking, and music. I believe.

This

is the best form of

education

. A young person should learn things other than academic

subjects

Tó

Correct your spelling

sum up, I reiterate my opinion by saying that non-academic

subjects

are as important as academic

subjects

Submitted by muhammadnaim194196 on Sun Aug 20 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

325 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjets that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that no one should do the same job forever, others believe that doing the same job is beneficial for the individual company and society. Discuss both views and give you open your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

The most effective way to solve the current traffic and pollution problems in cities is to encourage people to move from the suburbs or countryside into the city centre. To what extent do you agree or disagree?