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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

THe line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

THe line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#line #temperatures #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates the average
temperature
Use synonyms
 per month in three different cities,
Paris
Use synonyms
,
Dubai
Use synonyms
, and
Sydoney
Correct your spelling
Sydney
.
Overall
Linking Words
, Sydney was the hottest in
summer time
Correct your spelling
summertime
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Paris
Use synonyms
 was the coldest in
winter time
Correct your spelling
wintertime
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 record in
Sydoney
Correct your spelling
Sydney
 followed
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opposite pattern as
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 countries. Focusing on the results of
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
show examples
 about
Use synonyms
temperature
Add an article
the temperature
show examples
 in
Dubai
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 and
Paris
Use synonyms
,
Dubai
Use synonyms
 was around 19
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 January, recording the lowest
teperature
Correct your spelling
temperature
 throughout the whole time frame. Over the next seven months,
Dubai
Use synonyms
's
temperature
Use synonyms
 was the highest, reaching a peak of
appproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 36
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degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
. After August,
Dubai
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's
temperature
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 decreased to around 23
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degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 in December.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Paris
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'
temperature
Use synonyms
 record followed quite a fairly similar pattern as
Dubai
Use synonyms
's, recording
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
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20
Change preposition
of 20
show examples
Use synonyms
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Jun and July,
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
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five
Change preposition
of five
show examples
dgree
Correct your spelling
degrees
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 January and December. Turning to the
temperature
Use synonyms
 record in Sydney,
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 winter season and summer season were
oppiste
Correct your spelling
opposite
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
twe
Correct your spelling
two
the
 countries. It started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 24
Use synonyms
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 January and declined
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 15
Use synonyms
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 in July, which was the lowest
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
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 of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 records. After that point,
Use synonyms
temperature
Add an article
the temperature
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased slightly to 23
Use synonyms
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of the year.
Submitted by songcheng619 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, paris, dubai, degree with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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