IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People are shifting their residence to foreign countries .what are the advantages and disadvantages of thin trend?

#people #residence #countries #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
An increasing trend in the number of people shifted their residence to other countries.
This
Linking Words
 condition
is occurred
Change to the active voice
occurs
has occurred
show examples
 as it has benefits even though having some drawbacks. People moved their residences for some reason.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they have a promising life in another
country
Use synonyms
, usually for their career growth.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the countries offer more advanced infrastructure and facilities for the better life of their descendants. That mentioned reasons somehow could boost their former
country
Use synonyms
 to develop more.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more people leaving their original
country
Use synonyms
 for personal reasons could lead to the stagnancy of the former
country
Use synonyms
's development. It can be assumed that the person who leaves is the best talent in their
nation
Use synonyms
. They should have stayed to help their
nation
Use synonyms
 grow. They should be the ones who fix their
nation
Use synonyms
's problems, so their
country
Use synonyms
 can offer the same promising life. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there are plus points for changing their
nation
Use synonyms
, too much would be lost
as a result
Linking Words
. Staying in their original
country
Use synonyms
 could boost the
country
Use synonyms
's development.
Submitted by stefanieaipassa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: