IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#visitors #attractions
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Overseas travellers are claimed to be charged more than locals to visit landmarks of cultural and historical value.
Although
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 charging foreigners higher fees can support conservation and reduce overcrowding, I believe that
such
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 pricing could hinder sustainable
tourism
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 and
equality
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 among nations. Local infrastructure and conservation campaigns can be effectively managed by implementing higher rates for international visitors.
Firstly
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, sites of historical and cultural significance require noticeable maintenance and preservation efforts, and local
people
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 are already contributing to
this
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 process by paying taxes.
Therefore
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, it is considered fair to maintain
equality
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 among host
countries
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 and non-local guests if they pay at different rates.
Additionally
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, introducing elevated fees for foreign tourists can prevent overcrowding of destinations of historical and cultural importance. In fact, implementing augmented prices for non-local tourists may, to some extent, deter
people
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to visit
Change preposition
from visiting
show examples
 those places, minimalizing the wear and tear of these spots.
Conversely
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, I share the view that applying increased charges for visitors from abroad may provoke negative public perception about host
countries
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. As foreign
people
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 are charged more than the local population to enter historical and cultural landmarks, it can discourage them
to choose
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from choosing
show examples
 these places as a holiday destination the next time, and they will hardly suggest them to other
people
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.
This
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 leads to disruption to sustainable
tourism
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 development, devastating many
countries
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’ economies since the
tourism
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 industry plays a significant role in most
countries
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 today.
Furthermore
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, I am of the view that equity in charge for both locals and foreigners may promote
equality
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 and inclusivity among governments. In fact, it is crucial for
countries
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 to maintain decent international relations, and
tourism
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 can play a great role here because it is the most common way for
countries
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 to exchange cultures with each other.
Thus
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, the experience foreign
people
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 gain visiting another country may influence that country’s reputation, and reflect future relationships between the two. In conclusion, implementing increased prices for foreign visitors can seem applicable
due to
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 the support it provides to the infrastructure and conservation programs of host
countries
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;
however
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, I would not agree with
this
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, as it can discourage
equality
Use synonyms
 among nations.
Submitted by isroyilovsamandar030 on

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task response
Provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the opposing perspective and addressing it in a more balanced way.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected with appropriate use of cohesive devices to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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