In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

Nowadays, travelling around the world is becoming increasingly popular. Several states encouraged young

people

to work or travel for a year before starting university. In

this

essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of

such

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

and give

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

. In more

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

, in

this

generation

Add a comma

,generation

show examples

travelling becomes easier and

affordable

Correct quantifier usage

more affordable

show examples

. There are lots of young adults who are travelling with friends and family. Encouraging

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

generation to travel has a beneficial effect and will broaden their perspective in life. It will offer them new possibilities, they can meet new

people

and can learn more outside their comfort zone. It will mature their minds and

experienced

Wrong verb form

experience

show examples

something that they never had before.

For instance

, If I travel to

Correct article usage

the US

show examples

, I will become aware of the difference in culture and lifestyle. The way

people

live their lives

Change preposition

in, new

show examples

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

language

thus

will give me an opportunity to learn. Younger

people

have the ability to absorb new information fast. At the time that I go back to my country and enter university,

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

knowledge that I accumulated is an edge towards my future.

However

, the downside is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the student might not want to enter college after, experiencing and having a job.

For example

, during summer break I will work as a cashier in a

convenient

Replace the word

convenience

show examples

store. I will get paid and receive my salary. Now, I can buy what I want and what I need. As a younger adult, I will realize that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I can earn money even without entering the academy. Why would I make myself suffer?

To conclude

, travelling or working prior to entering university

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

its costs and benefits. It might either encourage them to study and learn or distract them,

thus

prefer

Wrong verb form

preferring

show examples

to work and earn money.

Submitted by Anneya on Sun Aug 20 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

290 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others beilieve that the purpose of the museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that government should give high salary to the celebrities but others think that it should be provided to doctors and teachers discuss both views and give ur views

some jobs are based at a single work place where the hours are the same each day, while other jobs involve frequent travel and irregular working hours. Discuss the advantages of both types of job and give your own opinion about which one is best.

Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development.

n a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.