The following two pia charts show the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in1985 and in 1995.

#two #pia #show #results #survey #popularity #leisure #activities #european #adults

These double pie charts

illustrates

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illustrate

show examples

the outcome of

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apply

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research conducted into how popular watching

, talking with

friends

, talking with

friends

, playing computer games, eating out and other

activities

where

Correct your spelling

were

show examples

carried out between 1985 and 1995.

Overall

, it is clearly seen that the most popular

activity

performed during their free time was watching

in both years.

Other

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Another

show examples

activity

was the least. A new

activity

was added to the survey namely; playing

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apply

show examples

computer games in the second year. In 1986, watching

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apply

show examples

as a leisure

activity

was the highest among adults after the survey with 32%

which

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of which

show examples

the respondents performed.

Then

the second choice of

activity

done was eating out and talking with

friends

with 23% and 21% respectively. Less of the aged population engaged in other

activities

at 6%.

On the other hand

, in 1985, watching

decreased slightly to 30%.

however

, two new

activities

were added to the survey which

are

Change the verb form

show examples

: playing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

computer games and talking with

friends

with 27% and 26%,

therefore

becoming the second sort after

activities

. Talking with family dropped drastically to 7%. Eating out and other

activity

also

came down significantly to 8% and 2% becoming the least of the

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

Submitted by boadimaxwell48 on Sun Aug 20 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, friends, activities, activity with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

201 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is wrong to learn foreign language while others think that foreign language can be beneficially Discuss both views

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