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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

31.Damage of the environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. Discuss.

#damage #environment #consequence #improvements
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These
days
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, the damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 because of improvements
the
Change preposition
in the
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 style
life
Change preposition
of life
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 is becoming a big problem all over the world.
Now
Correct the word
Nowadays
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days
Use synonyms
 there is debate as
whether
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to whether
show examples
this
Linking Words
 has
the
Correct article usage
apply
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more positive or negative
effective
Replace the word
effects
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, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, l will discuss both views and explain my personal view of the damage
of
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to
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 the
environment
Use synonyms
.it is my strong personal viewpoint
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 we should be preserved the
environment
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. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, some people believe that
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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 the earth depends on
of
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apply
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damaging the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
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example
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,
significantly
Add an article
a significantly
the significantly
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 larger number of
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 using cars
in
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apply
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Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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days
Use synonyms
, but it has to utilize petrol and inevitably exhausts much poisonous fume.
Moreover
Linking Words
, those gas can cause many environmental problems
such
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 as global warming and acid rain.
in addition
Linking Words
, Toxic chemicals released from industrial factories are depleting the protective layer.
for
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example
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,
according to
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 research conducted by Harvard University every year 900,000 to a million tons of pollutants are emitted into the atmosphere.
as well as
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 the construction of roads and highways on the site of green plains which can lead to global ecological catastrophe
On the other hand
Linking Words
, l believes that there are some reasons we are still made to exploit nature.
For
Linking Words
example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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solar electric cars,
although
Linking Words
 they have been sold in many countries,
Add a missing verb
have the
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 higher price than the same type, but petrol energy
auto
Fix the agreement mistake
autos
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, make them hard to sell.
However
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,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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many green energy technologies currently in use depend on changeable and unpredictable phenomena
such
Linking Words
 as wind, rain and cloud cover. To take the fastest growing sector as an
example
Use synonyms
, solar panels can only be used in the presence of strong and direct sunlight, and
although
Linking Words
 the problem of directness has already been somewhat solved with moving panel arrays, a cloudy few
days
Use synonyms
 could still result in a blackout if we depended entirely on solar power something
that is
Linking Words
 unlikely to occur today given current oil stockpiles. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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government law enforcement needs to be
Add a hyphen
top-notch
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top notch
Add a hyphen
top-notch
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 strict in all nations because
preserved
Change the form of the verb
preserving
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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