IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. Q: What is your opinion?

Nowadays,
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 seems quite expensive and some
people
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 believe
money
Use synonyms
 needs to be spent on things that are more important. In my ,opinion I agree
government
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 should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on other matters rather the
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, poverty has increased over the
last
Linking Words
 few years which
government
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 should focus their
money
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to reduce
Change preposition
on reducing
show examples
 that rather than travelling to
space
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. The main reason that
people
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 are dying every day due they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 have access to food.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
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this
Linking Words
 has a negative impact on the country's economy due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 need to invest more
money
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 to abolish the problem the possibility to invest in
space
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 travel is reduced
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem is bigger than
space
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exploration
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the USA spends every year 2 million dollars in NASA for
space
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exploration
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 and they have the highest percentage of poverty.
Moreover
Linking Words
, education in some countries
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 expensive so
people
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 do not have
money
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 to access so the
government
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 should
support
Use synonyms
 that in their population. If
people
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 are well educated they will increase their knowledge and they will be able to
support
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 the economy
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
Verb problem
apply
show examples
support
Use synonyms
 the country.
For example
Linking Words
, Finland has the highest educated population and the
government
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Use synonyms
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
 that for free in their society and they do not invest
money
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 in
space
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. A difference between the United States which spends
money
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 on NASA without offering its citizens the opportunity to study for free. In conclusion, travelling to
space
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required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 a high amount of
money
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 from governments around the world they should spend the
money
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 on other matters which are more important. The essay reviewed why is important to spend the
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 reduced poverty and education rather the
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
.

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task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt and lacks relevant examples to support the argument. More specific and relevant examples are needed to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly presented to frame the essay effectively. The flow of ideas within and between paragraphs needs to be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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