Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. Q: What is your opinion?
Nowadays,
space
exploration
seems quite expensive and some people
believe money
needs to be spent on things that are more important. In my ,opinion I agree government
should spend money
on other matters rather the space
exploration
.
To begin
with, poverty has increased over the last
few years which government
should focus their money
to reduce
that rather than travelling to Change preposition
on reducing
space
. The main reason that people
are dying every day due they not
have access to food. Change the verb form
do not
did not
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
this
has a negative impact on the country's economy due the
need to invest more Change preposition
to the
money
to abolish the problem the possibility to invest in space
travel is reduced due
Change preposition
because
this
problem is bigger than space
exploration
. For example
, the USA spends every year 2 million dollars in NASA for space
exploration
and they have the highest percentage of poverty.
Moreover
, education in some countries are
expensive so Change the verb form
is
people
do not have money
to access so the government
should support
that in their population. If people
are well educated they will increase their knowledge and they will be able to support
the economy with
Change preposition
apply
that
andCorrect pronoun usage
apply
Verb problem
apply
support
the country. For example
, Finland has the highest educated population and the government
support
that for free in their society and they do not invest Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
money
in space
. A difference between the United States which spends money
on NASA without offering its citizens the opportunity to study for free.
In conclusion, travelling to space
required
a high amount of Wrong verb form
requires
money
from governments around the world they should spend the money
on other matters which are more important. The essay reviewed why is important to spend the money
in
reduced poverty and education rather the Change preposition
on
space
exploration
.Submitted by usoncata on
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task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt and lacks relevant examples to support the argument. More specific and relevant examples are needed to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly presented to frame the essay effectively. The flow of ideas within and between paragraphs needs to be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite