IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

some people think that urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #spaces #parks
Many people consider that urban places should be employed for
parks
,
while
 there are others who think that it is better to build apartments. In my opinion, I believe that having
parks
 is more significant for the urban environment than housing. On the one hand, using urban spaces for housing plays a pivotal role in human life.
Firstly
, they argue that the government must build residential areas
due to
 the increasing population in the city.
For instance
, Tokyo has one of the largest populations in the world.
As a result
, most people need apartments
due to
 the lack of housing in the city.
Secondly
, locating habitations in urban areas is more beneficial for workers in terms of the economy and time. Many companies and businesses are located in the city centre. If employees live in the suburbs, they will spend a great amount of money on fares, and they will
also
 waste a lot of time on transportation.
Thus
, it is argued that it is considerably more convenient and profitable if housing is located in urban spaces.
Nevertheless
, converting urban zones into
parks
 has been considered to combat air pollution.
For example
, cities with many buildings
such
 as factories, schools, and markets face daily air pollution.
Therefore
, having
parks
 in urban centres with plenty of trees can help absorb the impurities in the air.
Consequently
, the number of smoggy days has decreased in many countries over recent decades. Another reason is that, more broadly,
parks
 will encourage better health practices.
Parks
 could have various facilities
such
 as gyms, football pitches, and skate
parks
 that encourage physical activities, ultimately improving human health. In conclusion,
while
 some people think that urban areas should be used for housing, I would argue that these zones should be developed into
parks
Submitted by abay.alikhan07 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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