Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main-subjects, Others believe it is more important to _give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification, Discuss both these views and give- your own opinion.

Main
subjects
should be studied with more attention rather than adding another subject
that is
not connected with the primary course.
Although
it is true that studying only the main
subjects
can be boring, in order to vary, additional
subjects
should be added. It is
also
true that if we have other
subjects
, it may take our
time
, so
stud
Add an article
the stud
a stud
show examples
ents may not spend enough
time
on their qualifications. There are a number of reasons why
students
want to add additional
subjects
in addition
to their main
subjects
.
Firstly
, being restricted only to main
subjects
can be overwhelming and boring, as studying specific
subjects
on a daily basis can be really hard for
students
, so there should be some differences, like additional
subjects
.
Furthermore
, it can boost
students
'
overall
performance in main
subjects
, as by diversifying additional
subjects
, they may feel more relaxed and will not get bored easily, as they are not concentrated only on main
subjects
.
For example
, research held by scientists at Harvard University says that
students
get less tired or bored because additional
subjects
are added.
Thus
, as it helps
students
to improve their studies, it would be good if additional
subjects
were added.
On the other hand
, it may cause some serious problems for
students
' main concern. Studying more
subjects
in addition
to their main
subjects
can be hard, as they might allocate more attention to additional
subjects
and forget about their main
subjects
that would be needed in the future for their qualification.
For instance
, from my experience, I can say that it is really hard to study different
subjects
at once.
Additionally
, it is not effective, as
students
will not have enough
time
to study their main
subjects
.
Hence
, studying additional
subjects
may grab
students
' attention so that they might forget their main concern. In conclusion,
while
it is true that additional
subjects
may benefit
students
' performance, it
also
can affect them negatively, as they will not have enough
time
for their main
subjects
. In my opinion,
students
should only concentrate on their main
subjects
in order to master their qualifications.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task response
Ensure that you clearly address all parts of the prompt. Both viewpoints are discussed, but the essay lacks a balanced consideration of each view's strengths and weaknesses.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, improving transitions between paragraphs would enhance coherence. For example, use more varied transition phrases to bridge ideas smoothly.
task response
Support your points with more specific examples and explanations to provide depth to your arguments. This will help to make your arguments more persuasive and relevant.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the points made.
task response
The main points are supported with clear examples, like the reference to the research from Harvard University and personal experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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