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Writing Samples /
Band 6

some people think that urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #spaces #parks
Many people are considered that urban places should be employed for
parks
,
while
 there are others who think that it is better to build an apartment.In my opinion,I believe that having
parks
 are more significant for
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
 environment rather than housing. On the one hand,using urban spaces for housing plays a pivotal role in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
human life.
Firstly
,they argue that the government must be built the residential;simply reason of an increase
population
Change preposition
in population
show examples
 in a
city
.
For instance
,Tokyo has a large amount of population in the world.
As a result
,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
apartments
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
 lack of housing in the
city
.
Secondly
,locating habitations in urban areas
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more beneficial for workers in an economy and time.A number of companies and businesses place in the
city
's centre
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if employees live in the suburbs,they will spend a great amount of money on
fare
Fix the agreement mistake
fares
show examples
,
also
 they waste
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
time on transportation.So
this
 way,it is argued by some that it is considerably
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 and profitable
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if housing will be in urban spaces.
Nevertheless
,involving urban zones to build
parks
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been included to
threat
Replace the word
threaten
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
city
 has many buildings
such
 as factories,schools and markets which pollute the
city
's air every day.
Thus
,if
parks
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 in the urban centres,
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 of trees will be adsorbing all impurities of the air.
As a consequence
,the number of smogs will be decreased in many countries over recent decades.Another reason
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 that,more broadly,
parks
 will encourage care of human health.In the park will be different facilities
such
 as
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
,football pitches and
Correct article usage
a skate-park
show examples
skate-park
Correct your spelling
skatepark
show examples
 which are responsible for physical activities,which will improve human health. In conclusion,
while
 a number of people think that urban areas should consume for housing,I would argue that
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 zones should be constructed
parks
.
Submitted by abay.alikhan07 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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