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Band 5.5

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sport at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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It is true that
team
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 sport is a spectacular method to teach school-children to cooperate at school. Personally, I completely agree with
this
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 statement because it will lead to positive outcomes for
students
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' performance. Teaching
students
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 to work
together with
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 other school-children through
team
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 sports is advantageous and beneficial. Primarily,
team
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 sport involves a cordial relationship between school children.
For example
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,
team
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 games where numerous
students
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 are taking part to help isolated ones
to
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apply
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perform better.
Additionally
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, it helps to broaden perspectives because of sharing,
exchanging
Correct word choice
and exchanging
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 ideas and information with peers.
Hence
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, it
provides to
Verb problem
allows
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 children to be open-minded, overcome shyness in a new unknown environment and learn more information from their classmates. Apart from being socialized,
team
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 games boost the interpersonal
skills
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 of
students
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.
In other words
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, members of the game adapted to listen to others' opinions and have the same rights to speak.
For instance
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, if children listen to each other and get the required advice from their classmates among the game members, the
team
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would
Wrong verb form
will
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 do the game efficiently which leads to winners.
Thus
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, these
skills
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 will be vital to
students
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further
Rephrase
apply
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and provide numerous benefits, namely being a comfortable person
as well as
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 a colleague.
To conclude
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, the best method in order to promote cooperating
skills
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 in
students
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 is to teach them through
team
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 games at school.
Furthermore
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, I strongly believe that it can give them several benefits
such
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 as enhancing their interpersonal
skills
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 and a close relationship with their peers which would lead to being socialized with others.

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support the main points in the essay, linking them directly to the argument.
coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
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