IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some countries young people move in their own homes in early twenties, in other countries they live with parents longer. What do you think, do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #move #homes #twenties #parents
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People in
early
Correct pronoun usage
their early
show examples
 twenties aged abandoned their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 and buy their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, some people live with
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 longer. I believe it is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 idea to be independent it causes
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems and be more sociable.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when young people try to get their own home they can face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their problems and try hard to get rid of
Linking Words
also
Correct pronoun usage
them also
show examples
 when they find out they do not anyone to helps them they can solve their
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 without help so they become independent
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have to pay their bills so they must go to work and make money , but maybe be hard for
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 time .
Although
Linking Words
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 become
independently
Change the word
independent
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, they
far
Add a missing verb
are far
show examples
 from family and they can not see their
parents
Use synonyms
 a lot. Their family maybe need their
helps
Change the wording
help
bits of help
show examples
 but they do not aware of it so they can not help,
furthermore
Linking Words
, their family need their attention.
However
Linking Words
, they do not be at home to care
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
, But
on the other hand
Linking Words
, when they can go to work they can give their
parents
Use synonyms
 money and help them in
this
Linking Words
 way. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 situation has many cons and pros and I think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage. It is better to can get
along with
Linking Words
 problems individually.
Submitted by samanehaa2015 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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