In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop

Some

people

go shopping for pleasure not buy

things

. Shopping

malls

are going to be for

entertain

Change the verb form

entertaining

show examples

people

instead

shop

Wrong verb form

shopping

show examples

in the future. I agree with the statement. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will

explained

Change the verb form

explain

show examples

why.

Firstly

, a lot of amusement

things

are

Wrong verb form

added

show examples

add

Wrong verb form

added

show examples

shopping

Add an article

a shopping

the shopping

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

malls

show examples

mall

Fix the agreement mistake

malls

show examples

that

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

not in the past and when you

looked

Wrong verb form

look

show examples

at shopping

malls

for

Replace the word

playing

show examples

play

Replace the word

playing

show examples

bowling,

snoker

Correct your spelling

snooker

smoker

….etc. they do not care about

shop

Wrong verb form

shopping

show examples

as they

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

in the past.

Additionally

people

in the summer when the weather is hot need to go out and have fun so they need

the

Correct article usage

show examples

place that

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

moderate weather so they can go shopping

mall

Besides

, they can go in winter when the weather is cold and they need

warm

Add an article

a warm

show examples

place for amusement.

On the other hand

, some

people

are disagree

Change the verb form

disagree

show examples

because they think entertainment in shopping

malls

can

persecutor

Replace the word

persecute

show examples

other individual

Change the wording

another individual

other individuals

show examples

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

instance, when

people

for

Change preposition

show examples

shop

they will face

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a lot of

people

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

come

for

Change preposition

show examples

entertain themselves and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

disturb

others

Change noun form

others'

other's

show examples

shopping.

Morover

Correct your spelling

Moreover

, some

people

believe that

people

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shopping in the shopping

mall

and they see entertainment

things

then

go for pleasure so

this

means the certain

points

Fix the agreement mistake

point

show examples

for going

shop

Wrong verb form

shopping

show examples

buy

Fix the infinitive

to buy

show examples

things

not

hobby

Correct article usage

a hobby

show examples

To sum up

, I agree shopping

malls

are for

hobby

Fix the agreement mistake

hobbies

show examples

more than

buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

things

.now

people

are amused in shopping

mall

Fix the agreement mistake

malls

show examples

than they were before.

Submitted by samanehaa2015 on Mon Aug 21 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

some of parents think mathematics is redundant, else believe it is fundamental to be taught . discuss the both sides

Many people use distance learning program to study at home, but some people think that cannot bring the benefit as much attending college or universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?