IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop
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Some
people
 go shopping for pleasure not buy
things
. Shopping
malls
 are going to be for
entertain
Change the verb form
entertaining
show examples
people
instead
 of
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
show examples
 in the future. I agree with the statement. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will
explained
Change the verb form
explain
show examples
 why.
Firstly
, a lot of amusement
things
 are
Wrong verb form
added
show examples
add
Wrong verb form
added
show examples
 in
shopping
Add an article
a shopping
the shopping
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
 that
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 not in the past and when you
looked
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 at shopping
malls
 for
Replace the word
playing
show examples
play
Replace the word
playing
show examples
 bowling,
snoker
Correct your spelling
snooker
smoker
….etc. they do not care about
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
show examples
 as they
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 in the past.
Additionally
,
people
 in the summer when the weather is hot need to go out and have fun so they need
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 moderate weather so they can go shopping
mall
.
Besides
, they can go in winter when the weather is cold and they need
warm
Add an article
a warm
show examples
 place for amusement.
On the other hand
, some
people
are disagree
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
 because they think entertainment in shopping
malls
 can
persecutor
Replace the word
persecute
show examples
other individual
Change the wording
another individual
other individuals
show examples
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 instance, when
people
 go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
shop
 they will face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot of
people
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 come
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 entertain themselves and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
disturb
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
 shopping.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, some
people
 believe that
people
 go
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping in the shopping
mall
 and they see entertainment
things
then
 go for pleasure so
this
 means the certain
points
Fix the agreement mistake
point
show examples
 for going
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
show examples
 is
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
show examples
things
 not
hobby
Correct article usage
a hobby
show examples
.
To sum up
, I agree shopping
malls
 are for
hobby
Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
show examples
 more than
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
things
.now
people
 are amused in shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
 than they were before.
Submitted by samanehaa2015 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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