IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think cities are the best to live. Others prefer to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #cities #countryside
Some individuals believe that the best place to live is the
city
while
 others give an opinion that the
countryside
 would be a better place to settle down. Despite both places
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 their prospects with many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technological enchantment and high job opportunity for
cities
,
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
show examples
 atmosphere and
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
show examples
 sky
contain
Wrong verb form
containing
show examples
 fresh air for the
countryside
,
this
 writer still consider
cities
 would give
people
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 condition. It can be easily noticed that
cities
 are the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of technology with a variety of
newest
Correct article usage
the newest
show examples
 inventions and development
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
show examples
 citizens. These are creations that would reduce stress and work
give
Correct word choice
and give
show examples
people
 more time to do what they wanted.
Cities
 are
also
 known for the number of companies and factories,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
 a lot of jobs for the
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 which is the
city
. Jobs may include management positions which are well-paid jobs so
cities
 attracted many
people
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the Vietnamese income investigation in 2023,
people
 who lived in the
city
 have their income higher than other places 47%.
Beside
Change preposition
Besides
show examples
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
show examples
, the
countryside
 has its benefits. Opposite to the crowded atmosphere in
cities
, rural areas are peaceful and
less
Add a missing verb
have less
show examples
 pollution than that in
cities
. The
countryside
 is not developed as the
city
 so it does not have
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 factories
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 the air there
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
very fresh and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its traditional style
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
life’s
Change noun form
life
show examples
 flow slower and
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 stress. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 large crop fields and animals with vast sky able the
countryside
 to leave a relaxing experience for those
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 been there. In conclusion, both
cities
 and
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 are potential
choice
Change the noun form
choices
show examples
 to live
and
Change preposition
in and
show examples
 they have their way to fulfill
people
, even though
cities
 seem to be a
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
superior decision.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • overcrowding
  • economic prospects
  • commute
  • residential areas
  • social amenities
  • cultural assimilation
  • property prices
  • rural exodus
  • sustainability
  • gentrification
What to do next:
Look at other essays: