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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below give information about sales of fairtrade -labelled coffee and bananas in 1990 and 2004 in five European countries

The table below give information about sales of fairtrade -labelled coffee and bananas in 1990 and 2004 in five European countries
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The table
illustrate
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illustrates
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 the information about
sales
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 of fair trade labelled
coffee
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 and bananas in 1990 and 2004 in five European countries
such
Linking Words
 as
UK
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Switzerland
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 ,
Denmark
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 ,Belgium and Sweden . With
the
Correct your spelling
this
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regards
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regard
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,in 1990,
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Denmark
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Denmark's
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coffee
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sale
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 was more than the other four
countries
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countries'
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 coffees
sales
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.
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Denmark
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Denmark's
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coffee
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sales
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was
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were
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 1.8
millions
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million
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of
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apply
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euros. In 2004 ,
UK
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coffee
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sale
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 was increasing .
Sweden
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Sweden's
show examples
coffee
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Use synonyms
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 was decreasing in 2004 .
UK
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coffee
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sale
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 was 20
millions
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million
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of
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apply
show examples
euros .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,In 1990 ,the highest
banana
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sale
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 of
country
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the country
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 was
Switzerland
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 and the least
banana
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sale
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 of the country was
Denmark
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 in 2004 .
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Switzerland
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Switzerland's
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banana
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Use synonyms
sale
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sales
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 was increasing
15
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from 15
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 to 47 .In 2004 ,
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Denmark
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Denmark's
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banana
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
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 was decreasing 2 to 0.9 . In conclusion ,in 1990,
coffee
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sales
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 were less than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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in 2004
coffee
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sales
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 .The
banana
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sale
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 was increasing in
Switzerland
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 ,
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 ,
Belgium
Correct word choice
and Belgium
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in
Change preposition
from
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 1990 to 2004.But
Sweden
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in Sweden
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 and
Denmark
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banana
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sales
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 were decreasing
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 2004.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, coffee, uk, switzerland, denmark, sale, banana with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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