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Band 5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, However, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #lives #changes #change
There are two
disperse
Wrong verb form
dispersed
show examples
 views about sticking to only
one
 thing in whole
life
 and about bringing
changes
 to the type of
work
one
 usually does. Some
people
 prefer doing only
one
 type of
work
,
while
 others want to bring
changes
. I support both as both guarantee success in case the person is capable.But I like to switch between different
work
 as I think change is necessary to attain something valuable in
life
. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
, who favour stability think that it is necessary to value routine, predictability and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of security.
Such
people
 avoid
changes
 in
life
, as they are continuously working on achieving their
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 goals.
Along with
 that,
stable
Add an article
the stable
a stable
show examples
 job gives individuals enough time to spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with their families and colleagues.
for instance
, in
Add an article
the survey
a survey
show examples
survey
Add a comma
,survey
show examples
 80% of employees favoured government jobs
due to
 job safety, security and ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free time after working or as compared to working in private sectors.With all these
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 available
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 choosing safety rather than challenges in
life
,still some opt for the
changes
 because of various factors. On the other side,
people
 who choose change think that it is necessary for personal growth, Innovation and
adoptability
Correct your spelling
adaptability
show examples
.
Changes
 bring about new experiences,
opportunities
Correct word choice
and opportunities
show examples
. It drags individuals out of their comfort zones and forced them to
work
 hard.
Furthermore
, through
changes
Add a comma
,changes
show examples
people
 learn new
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and explore different parts.
For example
,
research
Add an article
the research
show examples
 found that employee who switches often are more intelligent,
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
 and
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 rotation are necessary to explore different phases and crunch times of
life
.
To conclude
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 personal
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
 to either stick to
one
 routine or job or
selecting
Wrong verb form
select
show examples
 different ones at different times, but for
me
Add a comma
,me
show examples
 I choose
changes
 as I think it increases the chance of success.
Submitted by msohaibkhan97 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • mastery
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • personal growth
  • resilience
  • hesitancy
  • risk-taking
  • transitions
  • enrichment
  • equilibrium
What to do next:
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