IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, However, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #lives #changes #change
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There are two
disperse
Wrong verb form
dispersed
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 views about sticking to only
one
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 thing in whole
life
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 and about bringing
changes
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 to the type of
work
Use synonyms
one
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 usually does. Some
people
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 prefer doing only
one
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 type of
work
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,
while
Linking Words
 others want to bring
changes
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. I support both as both guarantee success in case the person is capable.But I like to switch between different
work
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 as I think change is necessary to attain something valuable in
life
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. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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, who favour stability think that it is necessary to value routine, predictability and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of security.
Such
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people
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 avoid
changes
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 in
life
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, as they are continuously working on achieving their
long term
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long-term
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 goals.
Along with
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 that,
stable
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the stable
a stable
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 job gives individuals enough time to spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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with their families and colleagues.
for instance
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, in
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the survey
a survey
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survey
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,survey
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 80% of employees favoured government jobs
due to
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 job safety, security and ample
of
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apply
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free time after working or as compared to working in private sectors.With all these
facility
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facilities
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 available
at
Change preposition
for
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 choosing safety rather than challenges in
life
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,still some opt for the
changes
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 because of various factors. On the other side,
people
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 who choose change think that it is necessary for personal growth, Innovation and
adoptability
Correct your spelling
adaptability
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.
Changes
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 bring about new experiences,
opportunities
Correct word choice
and opportunities
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. It drags individuals out of their comfort zones and forced them to
work
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 hard.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, through
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changes
Add a comma
,changes
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people
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 learn new
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 and explore different parts.
For example
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,
research
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the research
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 found that employee who switches often are more intelligent,
hard working
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hard-working
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 and
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
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. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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 rotation are necessary to explore different phases and crunch times of
life
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
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 personal
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
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 to either stick to
one
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 routine or job or
selecting
Wrong verb form
select
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 different ones at different times, but for
me
Add a comma
,me
show examples
 I choose
changes
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 as I think it increases the chance of success.
Submitted by msohaibkhan97 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • mastery
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • personal growth
  • resilience
  • hesitancy
  • risk-taking
  • transitions
  • enrichment
  • equilibrium
What to do next:
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