Write about the following topic: Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #communications #medicine #transport #systems #depend #computer #technology #reliance #fields #situation

Today, our communications, medicine, and

transport

systems

all depend on

computer

technology

or advancements and our dependence related to these fields on

such

computer

technologies has created a critical situation. In

this

essay, I would disagree with the statement by providing reasonable justifications.

Firstly

, in

this

era of 4th industrial revolution,

computer

technology

has superseded all other manual

systems

. Internet usage connects us with the people who are living far away through different mediums.

For example

, WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram. and other social media platforms make us well-connected with our friends or family members. In the same way, technological advancements in medicines, produce variants in one medicine to medicate different medical problems.

For instance

, in the epidemic of

Covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

, researchers around the world became successful in generating various vaccines to deal with the variants of

Covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

within 2 years just with the support of

technology

However

, the same has been communicated to the world population through the internet, social media platforms, online available scientific research articles, etc.

Secondly

, there are many benefits of utilizing

computer

technology

transport

systems

. It allows the management to make informed decisions

such

as widening of roads, channelization of existing road infrastructure, provision of development of new roads, etc.

For example

, Intelligent

Transport

System

Fix the agreement mistake

Systems

show examples

or Integrated

Transport

System

Fix the agreement mistake

Systems

show examples

(ITS) and Bus Transit

System

Fix the agreement mistake

Systems

show examples

provide data on traffic volume, condition of roads, traffic congestion, pedestrian movement, automatic signal setting, etc. that give a clear picture to decision-makers before reaching out

any

Change preposition

to any

show examples

decision.

In addition

this

, it

also

helps to reduce accident rates.

To sum up

, I disagree that our reliance on

computer

technology

in the fields of communications, medicine, and

transport

systems

has formulated a dangerous situation as it provides connectivity and

live

Correct article usage

a live

show examples

database to make an informed decision.

Submitted by nida.naeem64 on Thu May 02 2024

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Structure

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, using clear topic sentences to introduce the point you're going to discuss.

Development

Expand on your examples by explaining how they specifically illustrate your point and impact the argument.

Conclusion

Link your ideas more explicitly to the question in the conclusion, emphasizing your argument's stance in relation to the prompt.

Content

You effectively used examples from various fields to support your disagreement with the prompt.

Structure

Your essay maintains a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, aiding in clear communication of your ideas.

Relevance

You successfully reference the benefits of computer technology in different sectors, directly engaging with the essay topic.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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