Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Other, however, say that this would have limit effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Crime always was the largest problem in society and its penalty has been changing since the first law. Nowadays, in most
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
a lawmaking system
trys
Correct your spelling
tries
to avoid
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
penalties, like the death sentence.
This
decision will be overwatched in
this
essay and its pros and cons will be observed. Part of the society
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
argues that the death penalty needs to be applied for the most violent crimes gives many convincing arguments. First of all, containing prisoners in jails
reqires
Correct your spelling
requires
huge financial support which is taken from the taxes. Decreased amount of prisoners will allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
spend
this
money on a better project,
for example
,
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
show examples
of the educational system.
In addition
, for those who got a life
sentence
Add a comma
,sentence
show examples
it could be a
mersy
Correct your spelling
mercy
messy
to
relive
Correct your spelling
relieve
show examples
them from
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life-long suffering. The most obvious
agument
Correct your spelling
argument
against
this
decision is the possibility of
falure
Correct your spelling
failure
of the judgment system. If after a sentence some
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
that proves
innocence
Add an article
the innocence
show examples
of that person have been found, it would be impossible to revive a dead body.
This
depicts
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
show examples
of
falure
Correct your spelling
failure
and its
consiquences
Correct your spelling
consequences
. In my opinion, most of the guilty people deserve a chance of redemption. There are cases when prisoners after a long time in jail change and afterwards
proves
Change the verb form
prove
show examples
their value for humanity.
This
happens not often, but if there is a tiny chance of changing a person, we must try to do so. In the end, it could be said that there are many varieties of crimes and punishment, but every single one of them should be observed personally and there is no way of finding a single solution for all of them.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: