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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the diagrams below show the riverpark area of 20 years ago and the riverpark area now

the diagrams below show the riverpark area of 20 years ago and the riverpark area now
#diagrams #show #riverpark #area #years
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These
two
Use synonyms
 maps illustrate a design of a twenty-year- ago central library and its present form.
Overall
Linking Words
,
two
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 tables with several chairs have been removed.
Besides
Linking Words
, a lecture room and a café have been added. The entrance is to the south in the middle of the wall and special areas for computes and adult
fiction
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books
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 exist in both plans. There was a place for CDs, digital games, and videos to the
north-west
Correct your spelling
northwest
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 of the public library twenty years ago. In the south-west, a room was set for daily reading of newspapers and magazines.
Fiction
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books
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 for adults were placed between these
two
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 parts. Over
Correct article usage
a twenty-year-period
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Add a comma
twenty-year-period,
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twenty-year-period
Correct your spelling
twenty-year period
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 these places were replaced by three variously themed rooms. The first part is both for children's
fiction
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books
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 and storytelling events. It includes
two
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 sofas. The whole reference
books
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locate
Wrong verb form
are located
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nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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 it. The
last
Linking Words
 area is for the use of computers. Tables were taken away with chairs,
while
Linking Words
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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entrance did not change its position. In the
north- east
Correct your spelling
northeast
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 different
books
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 for children were used to keep.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 part is a lecture place at the moment. Non-
fiction
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 materials for grown-ups are not
bythat
Correct your spelling
by that
that
 area at present,
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
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this
Linking Words
 territory has been arranged for
fiction
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 materials.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is an information desk and self-service machines.
Finally
Linking Words
, a café replaced the room with an enquiry desk which used to serve to sell tickets and give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
Use synonyms
Submitted by humay.gambarova on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, fiction, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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