IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The supplied bar chart above represents the data about people living in rural, urban and town who born in Australia or outside of state between 1995 and 2010.

The supplied bar chart above represents the data about people living in rural, urban and town who born in Australia or outside of state between 1995 and 2010.
The given bar chart gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about
people
Use synonyms
lived
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
show examples
 in rural
areas
Use synonyms
,
township
Fix the agreement mistake
townships
show examples
 and
cities
Use synonyms
whp
Correct your spelling
was
 born in and outside of
Australia
Use synonyms
 from 1995 to 2010. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance at the graph, it can be clearly seen that
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in
cities
Use synonyms
 were higher in
number
Use synonyms
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to towns and rural
areasin
Correct your spelling
areas in
areas
 1995 .
Use synonyms
Number
Correct article usage
The number
show examples
 of
People
Use synonyms
 who came overseas
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 60 thousand
whereas
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 born in
Australia
Use synonyms
 were
aprroximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 50
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
. the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in town who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in was 20000
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 outside was less .it was less than
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 as it shows around 40000 in 1995 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 outside and 30000 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 inside in 1995. On the
otherside
Correct your spelling
other side
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
lived
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
show examples
 in town and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 was exactly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in 2010
while
Linking Words
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 came from outside
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 really
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
on the contrary
Linking Words
, in 2010 both the
people
Use synonyms
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in and out were
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to live in
cities
Use synonyms
. overseas
people
Use synonyms
 were the highest at 80000 and Australian
people
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 just above the 60000 . All in all,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of humans who came from other counties or
Add a missing verb
are
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 of
Australia
Use synonyms
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to live in
cities
Use synonyms
 as
comapre
Correct your spelling
compared
compare
 to
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, areas, cities, australia, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographics
  • Migration patterns
  • Population distribution
  • Rural
  • Urban
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Growth rate
  • Settlement patterns
  • Residential categories
  • Urbanization
  • Infrastructure
  • Economic opportunities
  • Lifestyle preferences
  • Residential mobility
  • Urban planning
  • Governmental policies
  • Community impact
  • Data analysis
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