IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart compares female unemployment rates in the four countries of the UK in 2013 and 2014.

The bar chart compares female unemployment rates in the four countries of the UK in 2013 and 2014.
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The chart shows the rates for
unemployment
Use synonyms
 among
women
Use synonyms
 in the UK during
2013
Correct article usage
the 2013
show examples
-2014 years period.
Linking Words
Overall
Add an article
The overall
show examples
 trend for
unemployment
Use synonyms
 is pleasing for three
countries
Use synonyms
 among
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 considered. They are England, Wales, Scotland and
Nothern
Correct your spelling
Northern
show examples
 Ireland. The
rate
Use synonyms
 is decreasing
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 0.3-1%
except
Add the preposition
except for
show examples
 Scotland, which has the opposite situation of
0.6
Correct article usage
a 0.6
show examples
% increase. If we compare four
countries
Use synonyms
 of the UK, Nothern Ireland has the lowest level of jobless
women
Use synonyms
. It
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 4.6% in 2014, which shows that the percentage
rate
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 who found a job in comparison with 2013 is higher
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 1%. Almost the same level of female joblessness is in Wales
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 5.4%, and it
is going
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 down in 2014 to 5.0%. It is a pretty good index, because
in contrast
Linking Words
,
Scotland
Change noun form
Scotland's
show examples
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 6.7% in 2014,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is higher than
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 year
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 0.6%. Fewer number of jobless females reported in 2014 compared with 2015 in England.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 country fixed the maximum ratio of 6.8% in 2013 among all
countries
Use synonyms
 researched. In general, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
unemployment
Use synonyms
 in the UK
countries
Use synonyms
kept
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 at an acceptable level with slight
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 passing from year to year.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, women, countries, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • female unemployment rates
  • four countries of the UK
  • 2013
  • 2014
  • introduce
  • overview
  • describe
  • summarize
  • observations
  • comments
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