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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Cafe by season. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Cafe by season. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#sales #food #items #cafe #season #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of servings of selected food
items
Use synonyms
 sold
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average daily at the Brisk Cafe in two seasons.
Overall
Linking Words
, hot
items
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 and soup were the
best selling
Add a hyphen
best-selling
show examples
 in the winter,
whereas
Linking Words
 cold
items
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Iced
coffee
Use synonyms
 and Iced cream were the signature
items
Use synonyms
 in the
summer
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Salad stayed at the same average daily sales in
both
Use synonyms
 two seasons. In the winter, the proportion of hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 reached a peak of the chart, with over 70
units
Use synonyms
 on average sold every
day
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 addition, Soup
also
Linking Words
 showed a significant
number
Use synonyms
 when
this
Linking Words
 item was bought 50
units
Use synonyms
 per
day
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 hot
items
Use synonyms
 were a downward trend in
summer
Use synonyms
, There were just 30
units
Use synonyms
 and below 30
units
Use synonyms
, with the hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 and the soup, respectively. 


On the other hand
Linking Words
, Iced
coffee
Use synonyms
 became the best selling in the
summer
Use synonyms
 which
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of servings
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
40
units
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 was the same happen, as when Iced cream increased in
number
Use synonyms
, with nearly 40
units
Use synonyms
 on average sold every
day
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
both
Use synonyms
 Iced
items
Use synonyms
 dropped in the winter, especially Iced
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the lowest selling, with nearly 0 unit
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
purchased in a
day
Use synonyms
, and the Iced cream went down slightly, with above a bit 20
units
Use synonyms
, sold lower than in
summer
Use synonyms
 10
units
Use synonyms
 per
day
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of salad
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
served in
both
Use synonyms
 seasons showed the same proportion, with higher than 20
units
Use synonyms
 a little.
Submitted by phanminhman07 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, such".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, items, coffee, summer, both, units, day with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average daily sales
  • selected food items
  • seasonal variation
  • popular
  • peak
  • consumer preferences
  • anomalies
  • transition seasons
  • trends
  • comfort food
  • beverage
  • snack
  • consume
  • highlight
  • fluctuations
  • correspond
  • plummet
  • soar
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