An increasingly number of professionals , such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poorer countries yo work in developed countries . What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with  this situation ?

Nowadays,  many
professionals
such
as doctors or teachers prefer to live in developing
countries
so they leave their own home and country . In my ,opinion
this
is
largely
Replace the adverb
large
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because of  inexpensive payment  and  lack of modern work devices and the best solution lies in increasing employment and salary  for
professionals
and creating a comfortable and well-equipped workplace. One of the principal causes that can lead to moving to modern  places is a
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
salary. 
This
is large because in poorer
countries
   less
paying
Verb problem
apply
show examples
  attention to the best
professionals
and they can earn more money in developing
countries
rather than in their own backward
countries
.
In addition
,
this
uncomfortable workplace is the best reason for
this
kind of professional. Today, there are few
countries
that can afford modern equipment and offices.  Many professional doctors who live and work in developing
countries
,
for example
, migrated from their
countries
of birth in order to earn more money in hospitals equipped with comfortable working equipment. There are  several actions that could be taken to solve the problems described above. 
Firstly
a simple solution would be to encourage workers who  master of own jobs with well-paying attention.
Furthermore
, the best solution to
this
problem is for poor
countries
to try to create workplaces and  offices   like modern
countries
and to create new jobs.
For example
, some of the emigrated
professionals
  came back to their own poorer
countries
because the government built new office buildings  and
offer
Wrong verb form
offered
show examples
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
salaries  .
This
way would be profitable for both employees and
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
In summary, the root cause of  leaving poorer
countries
is
less salary
Fix the agreement mistake
low salaries
show examples
and unavailable necessary technologies and
this
issue keeps giving birth to
circulate
Wrong verb form
circulating
show examples
globally as long as well-equipped workplaces and well paying are not taken.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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coherence cohesion
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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