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Band 4

Some people think cities are the best place to live. Other prefer to live in the countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #cities #place #countryside
City
Fix the agreement mistake
Cities
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 are extending day by day
due to
 the emigration of the population from the countryside.
While
 some people including me prefer to live in big urban
areas
, others
claim
 that living in rural
areas
 would be better. I will argue both sides and give my opinion. First of all, the
city
 has a lot of conveniences, people who are unemployed can find work quickly, and children can have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern and higher education.
For example
, in Ho Chi Minh
city
Capitalize word
City
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, many private schools accept
to
Change preposition
apply
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students from other cities c in Vietnam or foreign students can learn
at
Change preposition
apply
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there. The big hospital, the good doctor
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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applied
to
Change preposition
apply
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there to work too.
Additionally
, with significant development in transport systems and infrastructures commuting is more convenient and achievable.
For example
, it is more comfortable and quite faster to use a suburban train to go to work and back out to your home.
On the other hand
, some individuals
claim
 that in villages you are more likely to breathe fresh air and the environment might be more clear in which there would be less trash, For
city
 management would lead to a less polluted
city
. Another
claim
 about rural
areas
 that must be considered is that local people
claim
 is available in hypermarkets which are usually placed in big urban
areas
.
To conclude
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree with the advantage of living in a
city
such
 as accessible facilities will certainly out weight the other side rural.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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