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Band 5.5

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area.

#people #cities #places #area
People
 have different opinions about living places. Certain
people
 like to live in the country
area
while
 others choose to stay in the
city
 centre. Each place offers its own benefits and drawbacks and the following essay will discuss them in detail. On the one hand, a group of
people
 prefer to live in the
city
 centre because they believe that there are a lot of benefits
living
Change preposition
to living
show examples
 in the
area
. It is a fact that the
city
 offers various kinds of facilities,
such
 as shopping malls, universities, cinemas, hospitals and restaurants,
therefore
 it would not be difficult for the
city
’s residents in finding education centres,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 or
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
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. Cities offer more job opportunities as most of the companies and industries are situated there. Apart from that, there are certain facilities that are present only in
city
areas
 like amusement parks, large shopping malls, better schools etc.
However
, living in the
city
 has some negative sides as well. The common drawbacks are that the crime and air pollution
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 in the
city
 are commonly higher than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 rural
area
.
Therefore
 some
people
 choose to move out of the
city
 centre.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think that the best place to live is in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rural
area
. It is believed that
people
 who live in these
areas
 have a healthier life because they breathe fresher air, they eat more hygienic and natural fruits and vegetables and they live in a more relaxed and
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
 environment.
As a result
, their life expectancy is longer than those who live in cities or towns. Despite its positive sides, living in remote
areas
 have some disadvantages. Several
people
 found that the quality of education in these
areas
 is left behind,
while
 others feel that it is hard for them to develop their careers,
therefore
 they choose to move to big cities. In conclusion, living in the
city
 or the countryside has its own positive and negative sides, and it depends on the preference of each individual. I personally choose to live in the
city
area
 to enhance my career and plan to live in the countryside when I retire.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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