The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity ?

In recent years, the phenomenon of discussing the problematic high number of populations is happening constantly

while

some individuals believe

that is

a most important topic for all people in the world and I strongly agree that it would be a negative effect in the foreseeable future. As for the first point, some reasons could be related to the high population,

such

as the culture of some countries and parents' unauthentic support.

For example

, in some developing countries, their grandparents have been encouraging their generations to have more kids which means that they have more fortune and strength so that they frequently have 4-8 children in one family even though parents might not foster their kids in a proper way, not have enough budget for children's education and not accompany with each kid easily.

Moreover

, I

also

agree that until now the most serious barrier for humans is the expanded population all over the world which may result in worse economic competition and declining salaries.

For instance

, looking for a suitable job and earning higher revenue is every person's dream but if there are too numerous skilled-employee to compete and it may make them to lower their value in order to be utilized by a company and lead them to a poor standard of living. In conclusion, people have

doing

Wrong verb form

done

show examples

their best for their lives,

however

, some refuse to upgrade which is quite alarming. From my perspective, I regard that it would be an informed choice to limit the number of newborns which not only provides us a better life circumstance but

also

boosts the family income.

Submitted by mornicayang on Tue Aug 22 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many universities students use the Internet as their main educational resource. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice

Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subjects. Other people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The popularity of tourism is increasing day by day. There are many benefits of tourism, but it also creates some problems. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?