IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, building new
buildings
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instead
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 of repairing them because repairing is expensive as new build that has become a popular topic and many
people
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 think it is worth discussing.
However
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, they still have not come to an agreement with each other on whether the old building is built or the old building is repaired. Whatever each side of the argument thinks, I strongly agree that definitely, the old building should be made again. There are many reasons why I think so.
To begin
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 with, old building protection ability is decreasing for
people
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 day by day because the material inside is frazzling and they
make to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
represent a risk for
people
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.
For example
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, an earthquake occurred in Turkey 6 months ago and an old building was affected so many
people
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 died.
Moreover
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, experts said that the whole old building was destroyed and built again because the building's durability
loses
Wrong verb form
was lost
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 every 20 years. a natural disaster is not only important for Turkey but
also
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ıt is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a huge harmful effect on the world. Another reason is that The materials and techniques used in the apartment are changing. So every building will
be applied
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
 the same techniques.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 think the opposite of my idea. First of all, They support that the old building reflects a past life.
Besides
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 some old
buildings
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 will become historical places in time.
In addition
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, these make country or city help money sources like tourism. A good example is that Varorha gospel town in Cyprus consists of old
buildings
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 which show ancient history and so many
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 visit there.
To sum up
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, in spite of the fact that old
buildings
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 carry the old life,
people
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's life is more important than ancient history.
Therefore
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, the government should invest money in new
buildings
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains some relevant points, but it lacks a clear structure. The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and there should be a stronger connection between the ideas.
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task to some extent and includes relevant examples. However, it lacks a more balanced approach and a clear development of ideas.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. There is also a need for more variety and sophistication of vocabulary.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows some grammatical accuracy, but there are frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tenses, and word forms. More complex sentence structures and a wider range of grammatical structures should be used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preservation
  • Restoration
  • Demolition
  • Architectural heritage
  • Cultural significance
  • Tourist attraction
  • Urban landscape
  • Sustainability
  • Conservation
  • Economic benefits
  • Historical landmarks
  • Urban renewal
  • Infrastructure
  • Maintenance costs
  • Modern amenities
  • Building regulations
  • Community identity
  • Heritage conservation
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