Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child‘s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
Use synonyms
are the backbone of our nations,
thus
Linking Words
it is very important they receive proper and holistic
development
Use synonyms
to ensure the prosperity and progress of our societies. It is often argued that
parents
Use synonyms
play a predominant role in a child's future
development
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
some opine that
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and
friends
Use synonyms
are important for a minor's growth. In the following paragraphs, I will throw some light on both of these notions and
thus
Linking Words
give my stand with pertinent arguments.
To begin
Linking Words
with, it is believed that the mother and father both are the first teachers of their offspring. Kids have direct interaction with their caretakers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they feel free to share their problems and get the best solution from them.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
also
Linking Words
learn moral values from their family, which is beneficial for their
overall
Linking Words
growth.
For example
Linking Words
, if minors do not learn from their guardian, they may struggle to cope with their
daily-life
Correct your spelling
daily life
show examples
issues.
In contrast
Linking Words
, many believe that
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and pal hold greater importance for youngsters than
parents
Use synonyms
.
Friends
Use synonyms
and
TV
Use synonyms
can teach kids about different people and places, helping them become more open-minded.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, best mates and certain Television programs can present challenges or dilemmas that encourage youngsters to think critically and develop problem-solving skills. To illustrate, if
children
Use synonyms
have good
friends
Use synonyms
, they can build strong relationships and understand emotions both their own and others. In my point of view, for a child's
development
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
,
TV
Use synonyms
and
friends
Use synonyms
all are important.
Although
Linking Words
minors have the best pals and good television programs,
parents
Use synonyms
are the first role model for every minor.   In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
are more comfortable with their
friends
Use synonyms
,
parents
Use synonyms
are more important for
children
Use synonyms
's positive
development
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by simran31788 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay partially responds to the task, but the arguments are underdeveloped and lack specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat coherent, but the introduction and conclusion need improvement.
lexical resource
The vocabulary used is adequate, but there is room for improvement in the use of more sophisticated and varied vocabulary.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors and a lack of sentence variety. Try to use a wider range of grammatical structures and pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and tense consistency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foundational role
  • holistic development
  • direct influence
  • emotional growth
  • moral values
  • discipline
  • significant influence
  • behavior
  • perspectives
  • profound impact
  • social skills
  • balancing
  • screen time
  • peer interaction
  • parental guidance
  • explores their independence
What to do next:
Look at other essays: