IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The chart beloew gives information about the purposes of visits to five cities in the UK in 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reposting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart beloew gives information about the purposes of visits to five cities in the UK in 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reposting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.
#beloew #information #purposes #visits #five #cities #uk #features #comparisons
The given figure provides information regarding
reason
Correct article usage
the reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 five different cities in the United Kingdom. For the most part, most frequently people
visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 for
holiday
 or
business
 purposes for all five
ciities
Correct your spelling
cities
. Edinburgh and London witnessed a high
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
Holiday
visitors
. The number of
holiday
visitors
 overtook all other
visitors
 by a lot, for Edinburgh approximately
three quarters
Add a hyphen
three-quarters
show examples
 of its
visitors
visit
 for
holiday
 reasons,
while
one quarter
Add a hyphen
one-quarter
show examples
visit
 for all other reasons including
business
 and family visits.
While
 for London
holiday
 visitor numbers are neck and neck with Birmingham
business
 visitor; Note that nearly a quarter of
londons
Correct your spelling
London
 visits
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 for
business
 purposes. As for the remaining three cities, they seem to be more balanced, with no sharp high percentage for any
visit
 purpose. Half of
birminghams
Correct your spelling
Birmingham
Birmingham's
visitors
visit
 for
business
 reasons, which could set it as an outlier
while
 comparing Manchester, Birmingham, and Liverpool. Manchester and Liverpool indicate consistency with the percentages offered with all
visit
 purposes accounting for around a quarter per cent. Out of all three
cities
Add a comma
,cities
show examples
 Liverpool shows the highest
holiday
 visitor numbers with the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of family and friend
visitors
 barely evening out with it.
Submitted by Shaden.Hamadk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visit, holiday, business, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: