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Writing Samples
Band 4

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages. Explain your choice by using specific reasons and detail.

#children #computers #age #hours #choice #detail
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As video games have become more popular and the average number of digital
devices
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 in each household has increased recently,
children
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 have been spending much more
time
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 on their
devices
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 compared to the past. I think that
this
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 gradual increase could
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
change definitely has advantages and disadvantages, both of which
this
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 essay will attempt to look into. On the one hand, engagement with digital
devices
Use synonyms
 at a young age may help
children
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 in developing better computer skills. Considering how nowadays almost every job needs an adequate
amount
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 of familiarity with
computers
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 and certain
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
, getting accustomed to digital platforms could absolutely come in handy for them later in life.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the already vast market of jobs related to
computers
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 and
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 has been consistently expanding for some
time
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.
Consequently
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,
children
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 get enthusiastic and passionate about a certain subject could have an early headstart in their learning progress and have a better chance of becoming successful in their subsequent profession.
On the other hand
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, spending too many hours on a computer has obvious negative effects on the child’s life.
Firstly
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, spending a minimum
amount
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 of
time
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 outside closed spaces is absolutely essential for everybody’s mental and physical health.
Therefore
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, staying indoors all day may affect the child’s
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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.
Secondly
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,
children
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 develop their social skills early in their
adolesence
Correct your spelling
adolescence
 through interaction with their peers. In the absence or partial neglect of
this
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 learning period,
children
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 may have difficulty in having satisfactory relationships later in their adulthood.
Finally
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,
children
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 start using
computers
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 and other digital
devices
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 at an early age are prone to developing an attention deficit problem and could
consequently
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 face learning issues at school. In conclusion, I think that the disadvantages of letting
children
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 use
computers
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 excessively and prematurely outweigh the advantages. As failing to control the
amount
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 of
time
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your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
children
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 spend on a computer may seriously affect their adult life, parents should
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 to keep an eye out
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
amount
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 of
time
Use synonyms
 their
children
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 are spending on
computers
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amin.gerami on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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