The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in lites in selected countries, for the period 1960 - 2000. 3959 arse the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.
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The line graph
illustrate
the percentage of alcohol and Change the verb form
illustrates
smokers
consumption between 1960 to 2000 in different countries.
In Replace the word
smoking
general
the amount of smokers is declining during Add a comma
,general
this
period .
The highest being Holland with 60 % in 1960 remaining stable until 1970 before a sharp decline of 20 %. In
addition
Japan and USA had the lowest rate around 40 to 50% .
Add a comma
,addition
Thereafter
,continuously deacreasing
approximately 40% for Japan and around 18% in Correct your spelling
decreasing
USA
in 2000.
Turning towards the alcohol intake only a tiny fraction of the people are concerned in The United States with 7% increasing to 10 % in 1989 before a gradual fall in 2000 (8%).
Correct article usage
the USA
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
in
Change preposition
apply
Holland
it is clearly seen a straight rise Add a comma
,Holland
12
% in 1980 Change preposition
of 12
then
a small drop nearly
10% .
Change preposition
of nearly
However
Turkey has not Add a comma
,However
much
change throughout the years keeping a general trend
0 -2 %.
Add a missing verb
had much
Overall
Holland is having
a large proportion of customers for Wrong verb form
has
the
both goods . <Remove the article
apply
This
message was edited>Submitted by addaragelal on
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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