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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
In some nations,
children
 have been taught that if they want to get anything they have to try it hard.
This
 teaching may have advantages as much as disadvantages. The benefits and drawbacks of
this
 statement will be highlighted in
this
 essay. The primary education
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provided to
children
 is different among cultures. Leading
children
 to try hard at any task, will make
a
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 strong people in the future. We can see that on red Indians. They teach their youngsters to do everything when they are small and let them do things independently.
This
 makes them independent and strong civilians.
However
, when young people have what they want easily they will have weak personalities when they grow.
Nevertheless
, no matter win or lose, trying hard on
task
Add an article
a task
show examples
, makes
children
 satisfied enough about themselves.
Moreover
, trying to do anything
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hard helps
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youngers to have good knowledge about problems that they have to face and how can they solve them. It leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great nation.
On the other hand
,
this
 learning has some disadvantages
also
.
For instance
,
this
 may lead
children
 to pressure. They start to think that everything they have to achieve is not as easy as they think and they try to give up easily, or sometimes
this
 causes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mental illnesses too. ,
Also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
this
 leads to
children
 having some negative impacts
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their parents and society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they do not provide an easy way to achieve their tasks. In sum,
it is clear that
 there are so many advantages of telling
children
 to try hard often.
While
 in sometimes
this
 causes stress and pressure to
children
.
However
, everything might be good when they are at the limit and it is applicable to
this
 situation too.
Submitted by skn  on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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