Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, the phenomenon of people consuming vast carbohydrates is happening constantly and resulting in numerous health issues

while

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some individuals consider that factories should raise the price of sugary items in order to ingest less

sugar

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Similarly

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, I strongly agree with the above statement and I will

further

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emphasize them in the following essay. First of all, there are many harmful products containing abundant carbohydrates all around us which may lead us to have severe diseases

such

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as Type II diabetes and brain stroke. Once people misunderstand the nutrient fact on the product’s label, it is really effortless to eat them because of the tasty flavour.

For example

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, my cousin had been ignoring the calories of

sugar

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of each item he ate which made him stay in the hospital to treat his renal disease for weeks.

Hence

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, he ultimately realized why the nation has been forcing factories to reveal the authentic measurement of calories for all consumers.

Moreover

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, if the law could elevate the pay for products, it may encourage people and children not to purchase them and let them have healthier bodies.

For instance

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, in some countries, the government prohibits vendors from selling any kind of food within walking distance

near

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

primary schools and

also

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increases the price of drinks so that students can not afford them and maintain a normal blood

sugar

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level more easily. Rescuing our lives by those methods is fabulous and

also

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helps us to improve our eating habits. In conclusion, we can say that the government has been doing their best for all citizens,

however

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, some merchants refuse to comply with the policies which is quite alarming. From my perspective,

although

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it is a sophisticated subject, I believe it would be an informed choice to consume lower

sugar

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which not only provides us a delightful and well-being lives but

also

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prevents us from having problematic and unhealthy bodies.

mornicayangWed Aug 23 2023

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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