IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There are many inventions through human history, some people think the invention of the internet is the most important. Agree or disagree?

From time immemorial to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 day man has invented throughout human history there are many impressive inventions that have changed the human world.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the invention of the
internet
Use synonyms
 is the most important. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion . Important benefits brought by the
internet
Use synonyms
. With the outstanding development of information technology today,
people
Use synonyms
 have invented many very advanced technologies
such
Linking Words
 as personal information security
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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, the most advanced personal information storage system.
think
Capitalize word
Think
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 it’s a drone,
this
Linking Words
 plane is operated entirely by remote control and connects to the
internet
Use synonyms
 with a command post to control. Since these inventions,
people
Use synonyms
 have benefited greatly.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
internet
Use synonyms
-linked drones to control the discovery of dangerous places
such
Linking Words
 as volcanoes, high mountain peaks, and places where radioactivity is recorded for research.
However
Linking Words
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 is the most important but it is
also
Linking Words
 very dangerous when hackers access the system and
use
Use synonyms
 it to do bad things
such
Linking Words
 as uploading pictures of other
people
Use synonyms
,
making
Correct word choice
and making
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 up stories that are not real and worse than accessing the
internet
Use synonyms
. into the nuclear systems of
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 it is very dangerous . Without
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Add a comma
internet,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 would be very difficult. In the past, if
people
Use synonyms
 wanted to find an article or a method to solve a problem,
people
Use synonyms
 had to go through libraries and books to find a manual to solve a difficult problem. And in the past to store important articles and reports,
people
Use synonyms
 had to keep and store them very carefully, but the time after the book will fade over the years. From
this
Linking Words
 man invented the
internet
Use synonyms
 which is one of the most important and successful inventions in human history.
For example
Linking Words
, today with the nature of work,
people
Use synonyms
 often
use
Use synonyms
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 to look up and research to serve their work.
However
Linking Words
, we should not be too dependent on the
internet
Use synonyms
 for learning because on the web there are many difficult solutions for you to copy, but if you do
this
Linking Words
 often, your learning will be impaired. After all, the
internet
Use synonyms
 is the most important invention in human history, let’s
use
Use synonyms
 it wisely. Do not overuse the
internet
Use synonyms
 to avoid unfortunate consequences, especially for children .

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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