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Band 4.5

◦ ‘The government should restrict violent content in the media’ Discuss

#‘the #government #content #media’
Nowadays,
media
content
 contains
violence
 to attract the audience’s attention and influence people to commit more crimes and
violence
.
Therefore
, some people recommend authorities should limit the violent
content
 in
media
 to combat
violence
 in
society
.
Firstly
, every form of
media
 should not be controlled by the government
due to
this
 would affect the freedom of expression.
However
, in many countries, they have age
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 for different
content
 clearly
instead
 of banning all violent
content
, so the audiences can decide for themselves if they want to watch them, or even if they allow their children to watch them.
For example
, in Thailand, the TV channel before they present the
content
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows the age rating.
Therefore
, viewers know what to expect and decide to do so.
In addition
, violent
content
 is not the main cause of high crimes in
society
.Individual problems
such
 as lack of education, and poverty have the greatest contribution to the elevated rate of
violence
.
For instance
, all citizens in
society
 watch the same violent
content
 but not all of them will commit the crime
due to
 the
content
 that they have seen.
However
, controlling by the government will
provide
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a positive impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 kids, They are the most vulnerable group
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 sensitive
content
 on
media
due to
 they do have not the maturity to think and they might not distinguish between the show and the real world. The violent
content
 might influence them to duplicate that action and lead to
violence
 in
society
.
Submitted by prakaidaw2547 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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