IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree with this opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #healthcare #education
Some
people
 argue that paying for health care and
education
 is the
government
's responsibility,
while
 others say the opposite. I personally agree that it should be paid for by the
government
due to
 the poverty and the expensive insurance. In
this
 ,essay I will give more explanation as to why governments should pay those and may with some examples.
To begin
, there are several countries that are still struggling with poverty, especially in developing countries. The developing countries might have high Gross Profit Bruto (GDP),
while
 the gap between the rich and the poor is significant.
For example
, Indonesia which has the 16th biggest GDP in the world has roughly 40% of families living in poverty, with approximately an income of fewer than 300 USD per year.
However
, prices for
education
 are more and more high in recent days.
Furthermore
, some children cannot afford
education
due to
 the school's high payments.
This
 condition will bring to domino effect for the students because for not getting involved in
education
 they can apply for jobs, and they can have a good income in the future.
Consequently
,
education
 is a major foundation to grow the economic level which
government
 may give subsidies to the poor.
In addition
, the healthcare has become more expensive than before.
This
 condition leads to poor families not getting hospital services,
moreover
, it can lead to fatality.
For instance
, during the coronavirus, some local news in Indonesia compared the number of deaths between the poor and the rich, surprisingly, poor
people
 showed more massacres than the rich ones. The news showed that the main reason is that wealthy
people
 have different queues with fewer numbers.
Furthermore
, the use of breath support tools are priority for the wealthy. By looking at the data, it is undeniable that
government
 should give free service to poor
people
. In conclusion,
education
 which is a foundation for having a better economic condition may be supported by
government
 subsidies,
while
 the justice to access healthcare
also
 must be supported by governments without overlooking their economic level.
Submitted by yudhajatmiko94 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • public education
  • taxpayer burden
  • financial stress
  • equal opportunity
  • workforce development
  • public health
  • literacy rates
  • tax revenue
  • government expenditure
  • inefficiency
  • long waiting times
  • accessibility
  • quality of education
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