Older people often choose to spend money on themselves (e.g. on holidays) rather than save money for their children after retirement. Is this a positive or negative development?
Some people prefer to financially support their children when they grow up, others like to live their life with
this
money when they are getting old. It is true to say that we need to become independent and also
help our parents, but in some cases, we will need their savings for later when we will not expect this
.
Firstly
, some people may think that parents will always be with us, but this
is wrong. Due to
issues like prices, salary, etc., they do not understand that our relatives can not always hold us from trouble. To be clear, our generation needs to work to help the past generation, not to use them and their funds. This
may be caused by old traditions where it was normal to live off someone else's resources. Older people need to spend savings on themselves since they worked hard for their sons and daughters. For example
, my aunt is supporting her children, but they are adults now. As a result
, she taught them that their mother will always give them money, and right now they are just sitting on her neck. She can not visit other countries or live her life because she is spending cash on them.
Secondly
, in rare cases when something unexpected happens, their savings can help us overcome our difficulties. Others hold this
view because they understand how hard it is to rise from the dirt when you do not have aid. Even though everyone needs to work hard, sometimes it is necessary to receive financial support. For example
, my grandfather occasionally gave my mom money for us, however
, he was backing her because from time to time she did not have the opportunity. For instance
, he paid for my extra lessons and my school supplies.
To summarize, I can say that sometimes it is good to have parents near you who will support you, but it is obligatory to remember that they have their own life and we should let them last
it.Submitted by acaitaz on
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task achievement
Ensure that every paragraph directly supports the essay prompt. Focus more on whether spending money on themselves is a positive or negative development, and why.
task achievement
Add a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that directly answers the prompt, outlining the arguments you are going to make.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the organization by using more transition words to lead the reader smoothly between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the key points more explicitly and reinforcing your overall argument about the prompt.
task achievement
Good use of real-life examples to illustrate your points, which make your arguments more tangible and relatable.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow and clear paragraph structure, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.