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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some area of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of door after particular time at night unless they accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#area #curfew #teenagers #door #time #night #adult
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In some parts of the United States, young adults could not go out during night
time
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 they would be able to be outside if there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 an
adult
Use synonyms
 to take
care
Use synonyms
 of them. I agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the reason of security for kids. Nowadays, the crime rate is increasing from the past so it might be safer if there is a parent or guardian to take
care
Use synonyms
 of the children.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who we do not know that are dangerous for
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 or not during
night
Correct your spelling
nighttime
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 as there are not a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 outside.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, after the
sunset
Add a comma
,sunset
show examples
 there is not a
lot
Use synonyms
 of light outside neither which might make the young adults feel insecure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, an
adult
Use synonyms
 who takes
care
Use synonyms
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 them
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to be the one who they trust. An
adult
Use synonyms
 does not mean
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 or bad
person
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Adult
Add an article
An adult
The adult
show examples
 might just mean
Use synonyms
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 who is 18 to 21 years old.
I
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
 does not mean that they could be able to take
care
Use synonyms
 of the young
adult
Use synonyms
 at all. In conclusion,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the United States might have some laws
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 do not make
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion
Use synonyms
. It might
better
Add a missing verb
be better
show examples
 to
over secure
Add a hyphen
over-secure
show examples
 than let it happen. More or
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 teenagers might be able to take
care
Use synonyms
 of
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
 but it might be better to have 4 or more
instead
Linking Words
 of 2 eyes to look around.
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 they would be able to be
outsite
Correct your spelling
outside
 if there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 an
adult
Use synonyms
 to take
care
Use synonyms
 of them. I agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the reason of security for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
kids. In
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, the crime rate is increasing from the past so it might be safer if there is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 parent or
gardiun
Correct your spelling
guardian
 to take
care
Use synonyms
 of the
chirldren
Correct your spelling
children
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who we do not know that are dangerous for teenagers or not during
night
Correct your spelling
nighttime
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 as there are not a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 outside.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, after the
sunset
Add a comma
,sunset
show examples
 there is not a
lot
Use synonyms
 of light outside neither which might make the
yonug
Correct your spelling
young
 adults feel insecure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, an
adult
Use synonyms
 who takes
care
Use synonyms
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 them
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to be the one who they trust. An
adult
Use synonyms
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not mean
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 or bad
person
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Adult
Add an article
An adult
The adult
show examples
 might just mean the
person
Use synonyms
 who is 18 to 21 years old that could not be able to take
care
Use synonyms
 of the young
adult
Use synonyms
 or does not want to take
care
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the United States might have some laws
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 do not make
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 I
strongky
Correct your spelling
strongly
 agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion
Use synonyms
 as it is better to
over secure
Add a hyphen
over-secure
show examples
 than
let's
Unnecessary verb
let
show examples
 it happen. More or less teenagers might be able to take
care
Use synonyms
 of
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
However
Linking Words
, after the sun
is set
Wrong verb form
sets
show examples
, it
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not really safe for any
people
Use synonyms
outsite
Correct your spelling
outside
 as there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and not a
lot
Use synonyms
 of lights.
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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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