The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which was result from this energy use

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

The first pie chart shows the percentage of Australian household energy use in six sections. The second pie chart reveals the percentage of Australian household greenhouse gas emissions which result from six sections.

Overall

it is clear that

the consumption of heating stands

first,

followed by

water

heating,

while

the usage of cooling stands

last

Moreover

, greenhouse gas emissions released from

water

heating have the biggest

whereas

cooling

also

ranks

last

. Heating

ranks

first with 42%, followed by

water

heating with one-third of the total proportion.

In addition

, other appliances comprise 15% of the total

this

percentage is almost the same as the shares of refrigeration, lighting, and cooling all together. It is noteworthy that cooling

ranks

last

with 2%.

Water

heating has the largest proportion among the six sections in releasing greenhouse gas emissions with just above one-third of the total

, and other appliances stand second-rank with 28%. There is little difference between the percentages of heating and refrigeration, as that of the former is 15%.

Furthermore

, cooling

ranks

last

with 3%, and the remaining of the total

is allocated to lighting with less than one-tenth.

Submitted by behzad.tahmouresi on Thu Aug 24 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, share, ranks with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 3 times.

▼

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

191 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Energy consumption
Greenhouse gas emissions
Sustainable practices
Energy efficiency
Renewable energy
Fossil fuels
Carbon footprint
Eco-friendly appliances
Insulation
Solar panels
Recycling
Climate change
Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
Emissions-intensive
Energy audit
Smart meters

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which was result from this energy use

Global warming is one of the various climate issues. Discuss the possible causes ad offer measures to control the damage caused.

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living sstandards on Earth. Do you argee or disagree?

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why? Who benefit from this, the community or these young people?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a large city?

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?